Suicide – When pain exceeds resources to cope
By Duane Hewitt
Have you ever thought about suicide? Are you thinking about it now? Please take a moment and read this first…
Talking about suicide shouldn’t be unsettling. What is disturbing is that it happens at all. People feel driven to take their lives because life becomes so unbearable that there doesn’t seem to be any other way out. Then there’s the long reverberating aftermath to the survivors that occurs when someone does kill themselves: Pain – Guilt – Remorse. That fallout can be as mind-numbing as the act itself. Can’t something be done? What, possibly, might do away with this black pit of despair where no hope seems to exist?
According to the World Health Organization, more than 800,000 people die from suicide each year. Based on the 2012 report on suicide by Statistics Canada, there were 3,890 suicides in Canada for 2009. And, in the U.S., with its larger population, the National Vital Statistics Records states that 36,909 people died from suicide in 2009. But these same numbers don’t tell the whole story. Concealed within the statistics are the personal tragedies: the heartache, the pain, the hopelessness – what about all that? What can we do about it?
One of the fundamental things about suicide that may help you understand what’s going on inside your mind if you feel like killing yourself is that it likely means your pain exceeds your resources to cope. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, your desire for self-destruction is probably presenting itself to you as a tangible solution to end that pain.
It may also help you to understand that suicide is not natural. We have not been born to self-destruct. No living thing has been born to self-destruct. The desire to kill one’s self is beyond what we are designed for. It’s outside what’s supposed to be our normal response to the most severe stress.
Also, consider this: Suicide is a permanent response to a temporary situation. Pained and grief-stricken as you may be, this moment will pass, after which there is a future, but your death is forever. Do this and you won’t be coming back.
If you are considering suicide, you are not alone. At this very minute, there are many others who are thinking about killing themselves. The numbers could easily be in the thousands, if not the tens-of-thousands.
In our efforts to discourage someone from killing themselves, we are often inclined to impose feelings of guilt, fear, shame, and control. None of this helps. Instead, as the one writing this blog article, it’s more honest for me to say that I probably wouldn’t be able to fully grasp your feelings or your situation, and if you are suffering that much, no one can judge you for it. In essence, what I’m trying to say is, throw away any feelings of blame and guilt that you may be harboring. It’s okay to feel lousy. It’s okay to have made mistakes. Even if you feel like a total messed-up loser, that’s okay too. Has anyone ever said such a thing to you before? Stop kicking yourself. Breathe.
Our world doesn’t seem to be getting better, does it? It’s a screwed-up mess. There’s so much pain out there. But this bright blue planet must have something going for it, right? Otherwise, what’s the point of anything? So, since you’re a part of it just like everyone else, including all the other flawed people out there, see you can find one simple good thing to do, whether it’s for yourself or someone else. Now would be good.
And, no matter who you are, you won’t find any judgments – not here and not by me. Good luck to you.
Copyright 2016 Duane Hewitt. All rights reserved.
For some excellent info regarding help with Addiction as well as Mental Health issues, please see:
The Recovery Village:
Info regarding Suicide among Seniors and The Elderly can be found through:
National Council for Aging Care
See the guide, Elderly Suicide: The Risks, Detection, and How to Help.
The guide is located here: https://www.aginginplace.org/elderly-suicide-risks-detection-how-to-help/
Please take a look at this excellent link,
“If you are thinking about suicide… read this first.”
Some excellent info concerning Addiction and Suicide risks can be found through:
DrugRehab.com – See also:
Toronto Distress Centre
U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Kids Help Phone Canada
Ontario Association for Suicide Prevention
World Health Organization
Factsheet about suicide: